I did not anticipate the incredible amount of support and love and that has been flowing from the comments on this blog. I’ll reiterate how humbling and uplifting they are. While waiting to go into surgery, I read through all the posts knowing that an unexpectedly large cohort of friends and family were pulling for me, selflessly taking some of your own time to pray, think, and send out positive energy. I closed my eyes for a few moments to imagine it as some type of network, interconnected to help one person. And in those moments, I realized more folks than just me were (and still are) helped. I have to believe that, while directed toward my current situation, reading through all those eloquent (and sometimes a bit too revealing!) posts that ideas were generated or thoughts arose in other folks as a reminder to call mom or dad, to check on the kids, to be a little nicer, or to just appreciate their current life situations. Believing that one person is unknowingly helping another personally brings me peace, mindfulness and patience in this chaotic time.
Regarding everyone’s responses, please allow me time to respond accordingly. I realize that several of you will not require a response from me and thank you for that consideration. However, I don’t think the blog is at a tipping point where there are too many posts for me to handle. I’ll play that by ear. But right now, responding to these inspirational and nostalgic prayers/stories/memories is important for me even if it’s just a thank you. I want to and do not feel it’s an obligation. At this point in this life-changing journey, establishing connections and communication is healthy, therapeutic and healing. And I have to set the record straight on some of them!
We are fortunate to have the neighbors that we do. We have only lived in our current house for 15 months, but from day one, our community has welcomed and treated us like 20 year friends; just such a good group of folks. The night before surgery, a few of them dropped by to express their sympathy, talk, and have a group prayer. It was just really nice. Unfortunately, I think I was upright a little too long and the tumor either was shifting or had grown some after the biopsy, but regardless of the reasons, the word ready did not describe how much I wanted my leg separated from me. It just hurt and lasted through the night. So when I woke in recovery looked down and saw my leg was missing, I was beaming like the Cheshire Cat. No more tumor pain! I realize there is more pain ahead, but it is recovery pain and is much more tolerable. The doctor informed us that the tumor had grown a bit more toward my knee and she believed that I was in for an even more world of hurt had we not amputated. That was reassuring. While I was in surgery they also implanted my chemotherapy port which significantly speeds the chemo process when we begin. Nice. Two birds with one stone. It was a good day!
I’m not sure how it happened but somehow I scored my own room, which is actually quite large. Yesterday, I had several visitors. My folks are up for the fun and to help with the boys. Of course Jenn was here. And many colleagues also took time away from their own lives to see me. They brought a lot of food; critical for overnight stays at hospitals. Having visitors in and out yesterday helped me shift my focus from the pain to being a part of their lives for a few moments. At one point, we had eight people in the room and while everyone was chatting, a physical therapist came in and informed me that I needed to attempt to “walk” around on a walker. There was an awkward silence as people weren’t sure to stay or leave. I decided I needed all the support I can get. So, uncomfortable or not, several friends and family were a part of my first steps as an amputee. It was perfect. Not wanting to fall in front of my support team was an excellent incentive to succeed. The walk went fine (although I think for one-legged folks it should be called a hopper, not a walker). But what was even more satisfying was watching people sharing their lives with strangers and enjoying time out of their schedule to get to know someone else. This experience is bringing people together in unimaginable ways. Through both the blog posts and the visits I’m receiving, I think several people, including me, are realizing the positive results of what was originally a negative circumstance. I believe this is one of the best ways to beat this thing. I certainly haven’t thrown in the towel yet and plan on being around for a long, long time, but if I do succumb sooner rather than later, the radiant positivity and lighthearted atmosphere that has been generated (and so much more to come) will be the ultimate win.
Right now, I’m experiencing phantom pain, which is believed to result from the brain slowly turning off the neuronal pain pathways after a limb separation. It’s really bizarre. I’m physically sitting up right now, looking at my missing leg, knowing it’s not there, but feeling sensation and pain from it. It feels like my leg is bent at a right angle going through the bed. When I try to wiggle my toes, it feels like my leg is paralyzed. And I can feel pressure on the bottom of my foot like it’s sitting on the floor. Occasionally, there is pain, but again, it’s pain in the recovery category, so mentally it’s much easier to handle. I have a lot of pain meds too, so life is good!
I’m not particularly fond of the term “stump.” It’s a bit too brutal and makes me think of trees. So I’ve renamed my stump to Short Round, after the character in the second Indiana Jones movie. I think it is much more fitting.
I also want to document just how much Jenn has been a positive influence through all of this. The whole situation is unfair for her in more ways than just me. This is not Jenn’s first experience with cancer. Her mother unfortunately passed away when she was 48 from a rare cancer and Jenn was only 20. When this all first started, I wondered how she was going to cope. I can only describe her contributions as nothing less than remarkable. The easy road for her would have been to shut down. But I have basically put my life in her hands and feel the strength of character and motherly love when I hold her. I could not have the attitude that I do without her support and smile. I love my boys and know they are well cared for throughout all this. I love her more than anything and am just reassured when she is near. Thanks Sweet!
Walker / Hopper
Hunter
It's Not a Sprint 
Hunter, for a man that has a short round you look fantastic, I am truly inspired by your words of optimism, love for your devoted and caring wife and a uplifting spirits, you are an amazing father, and fantastic role model, I wish to emulated. Ed
Thanks Ed!
You are amazing! What a wonderful attitude and light you have. Praying for the pain to leave and healing to start. I am thankful for meeting your family, so much love. You inspire me in more ways than I can say.
Thanks Leila!
So the tears just keep streaming down my face as I read this message. Hunter, Joe and I are praying for you, Jenn, and your family with great intensity. Keep fighting the good fight. We pray for ease in recovery and adjustment to your “new normal”. Sending all of our love and best wishes. God Bless all of you!
Vivian Shannon
Thanks Vivian. Your husband’s emails have been amazing and inspiring. Thanks for the prayers!
Hunter,
The five of us are humbled and privileged for the opportunity to connect with you and your family through this blog. Thank you for your candor, humor, and example. We are collectively praying and cheering for you. I can sense your indomitable spirit and your remarkable energy and know both will see you through and create miracles along the way.
We love you!
Jason, Jen
Carter, Elliott, & Amylia
Thanks, The Januzellis! Jen, Jason. I’ve followed you on facebook and I’m glad we finally connected too. I like that word indomitable. Don’t be surprised if you see me use it.
Thank you.
Thanks Catherine. I appreciate the assist!
So very proud of you cuz! Your blog has been an inspiration to our whole family. We are blessed to have you in our lives! Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers here in Atlanta and we love you dearly! If anyone can fight this, YOU CAN! Keep up the good work. Love and miss you all. Gail.
Thanks Gail! If I can win at our wargames at your house when we were kids, this is nothing!
Just to clarify: You didn’t win at War — Gail and I did.
Big Sister
Hunter,
Great to see a smile on your face, keep up the fighting spirit! As a retired Redleg though, the term Short Round made me pause a bit. It’s great that you have Jenn to help you through this and she has my admiration as well.
Good point. I didn’t think of it that way until you mentioned it!
You and your entire family are such a inspiration!! We have always adored your entire family and are so blessed to have you in our lives, and it’s a good thing b/c I dont think we would have a choice considering Noah and Jack’s love for one another 🙂 We have been praying for you and will continue to do so as you start the road to recovery. Praying the pain will exit your body and that the Lord will work a miracle and rid your body of the cancer cells.
We love you guys!
Thanks Amanda!
Hi Hunter, Jenn, and family,
Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers every day.
Your Chemistry & Life Science family will support you in any way that we can.
Sharon
Thanks Sharon! We’ll see you soon (minus one half of a leg!)
I have never had the priviledge of meeting you, Hunter, but I feel that I’ve known you for a long time, as you mother is a very dear friend of mine. I am so glad to have the opportunity to read this blog. Your words are so inspirational, your attitude and spirit amazing! You have taught me much already about courage, and the importance of time being well-spent. I can’t tell you how moved I am by the way you are handling this situation. What a gift to your sons and all those that love you and your family. Thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts and experiences. You are an amazing man with an amazing family. I am praying hard for you and hoping that laughter and love continue to sustain you!
Thanks Debbie. My mother has spoken about you at length! Thank you for the kind words. Sharing these thoughts and feelings keeps our spirit high. Thanks for the prayers!
Hunter,
You have managed to affect me in a way few people have. One such example is the fact I can admit that. I have always admired your strength, character, and yes, your humor; I thank you for being the man I’ve always aspired to being. Stay positive, all my best to Jenn and the boys. Give my best to Short Round. You are.
That’s a bold statement brother. I appreciate the kinds words. I wish you complete happiness and peace. You are too!
You are pure gold, man. Pure. Gold.
Less is more bro. Thanks!
This is quite a book of reflections and feeling you are writing. Not only is it therapeutic (thank you spell cheque) for you, it multiplies for us all.
U. Cliff
I’m just glad you figured out how to navigate in the blogosphere! Thanks for the kinds words!
Absolutely amazing seeing that grin! I really can’t say how inspiring that is. Thoughts and prayers still heading your way.
Hunter – it made my heart happy to see that smile on your face. You are a role model and truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Jennifer!
Thanks guys!
Hunter,
Each of your posts is amazing in how you find the golden nuggets in each new challenge you’ve had to face against “this bully.” On the one hand you’ve been dealt such a tough hand, and yet on the other hand everything you do and say is such a testament that you truly have been blessed in life….with a wonderful wife, kids, extended family, and so many friends who are rooting for you. Although I’m sad that you’re having to go through this, I’m so glad that you are having the benefit of this tremendous outpouring of love and support from all who care for you. Good on you–keep up the great fight and God Bless!
Thanks again Chris!
Consider yourself hugged by Jesus!! We are all praying for you! I’m so impressed with your positive attitude and determination. Keep up strong will and allow God into your heart – you’d be amazed at what He can do!
Wow! That’s pretty good! Thanks Andrea!
Hunter,
I am so glad your surgery went well. I literally LOLed after reading your moniker, “short round.” Laughter is the best medicine. I was also really happy to see your positive attitude; that is half the battle. It’s nice that you’re taking the time to cherish and solidify the personal relationships in your life. There are a lot of people rooting for you. You can’t let us down. =) Continuing to keep you and your fam in my prayers.
Stay strong!
Girija from DTRA
Thanks Girija! I won’t let you down. Too many folks on my side now! Although I would hope that no one would take the other side….
Hunter, you sure will go great lengths just to improve your splits (as in run times for you non-running folk). Here’s a link to the “Cheetah” – a carbon fiber foot – just promise to lighten up so I can catch up to you at the next Marine Corps Marathon. Thanks to you and Jenn for your updates, thinking about you and yours alot – Cheers! Mike
http://www.ossur.com/?PageID=13462 (oops, here’s the cheetah link)
Mike I loved this link! You know I’m already shopping for my blade! I may be able to bounce a faster race than run!
I’m so glad the surgery went well. I’m totally impressed by your positive outlook. Never met anyone before who viewed an amputation as a relief. Also, I was not expecting to find much humor in this blog, but calling the walker a “hopper” cracked me up. Congratulations on getting through the surgery successfully with great dignity and humor intact. … Also I briefly met your mom. I liked her instantly! Continued good luck to all of you.
It was a huge relief! My mother is here for a few more weeks, so there will be plenty of opportunity to see her again.
Hunter, I am so glad that you are up and about with that smile! As I read your updates, I find myself laughing through the tears. Your positive outlook is truly inspiring and I believe this will help in your fight. We have been thinking and praying for you, Jenn, and your whole family. Know that we are here whenever you need us.
Kristen
Thanks Kristen! We will see you soon! I’m looking forward to meeting your kid (kids?)
Hunter, Jolene and I are so glad the surgery went well. Seeing you in the pain you were in last weekend made your situation all that more real to us. I can’t put into words how amazing you are and how uplifting and inspiring your attitude is. I have told many people that if the same thing happened to me, I really don’t think I would be handling it as well as you are. I know you have your moments, and you told us about some of them last weekend, but your positive attitude, infectious humor and down to earth understanding of your situation is admirable. Jolene and I will always be there for you, Jenn and the boys, ready to help out in any way. We know you will adapt, improvise and overcome. It may be a Marine mantra, but it has meaning for us all.
Oh, and by the way, thanks for the website info! I’ve got to go study for my quiz. You know that teacher I have is a real son of a gun…….:)
Thanks Jimmy! I know if anyone could handle it you could! If the tables were turned I don’t think I could have built you a ramp….sorry bro. Remember…DNA to RNA to protein!
Hunter,
“It’s Not a Sprint”; It’s a Spirit. You have the spirit that is needed to battle cancer. Your words are so healing and comforting for all of us praying for you and your family. God has blessed you with faith, family, and friends. Through you, I realize how important a sense of humor is during life’s challenges. Thanks for all you have done to help me grow as a person by sharing your experiences and love for people.
LOL:),
Mary
Thanks Mary!
You are such a crack up! The above image with your broad smile holding “hopper” with “Short Round”, your new norm, will forever be embedded in my mind. I am a visual person and seeing you beating your circumstances with such grace, makes me smile from down deep. I laughed out loud too. How do you do that?!? You are truly an amazing man. Jenn sounds like an amazing wife and friend. Keep on keeping on and know that I wake up with you, Jenn, Ben, and Jack, in my prayers and thoughts. Love and Hugs from Toccoa!
Thanks Steph!
I’m so glad you have this blog to keep everyone informed. We are so impressed with your progress and your attitude, as so many other people have said. No need to respond to us individually, just know we are here for all of you. Love, Aunt Marilyn
Thanks Marilyn!
Your positive attitude is inspiring. You are in my prayers. I worked with your mother at RD Head. What a grreat lady.
Nita
Thanks Nita! She mentioned you yesterday.
Cathy Grigg from DTRA
Hunter – are u sure you aren’t an aspiring writer? Your story is so poignant and has touched my heart so deeply. You are in my prayers and I’m wishing for a miracle….you certainly have what it takes to fight this with gusto. I
have asked for my friends to include you and your family in their prayer chains.
You are amazing beyond words, and I will continue to follow your blog….through the good and the bad….stay strong “soldier”. My love to
you and your family.
Sincerely
Cathy
Cathy, I was thinking the same to myself as I read Hunter’s posts – he is articulate, and a story-teller endearing his reader and teaching us all the while. You think West Point taught him how to teach? Naw, had to be his Mom and Dad and he probably is getting lessons from his sons he never thought he needed. @Hunter, I too thank you for sharing and showing us how to live.
His mom and dad didn’t teach him how to write like that — his sister did!
That said, I am so proud of how his showing all of us how to handle a bad situation with such grace and dignity.
Easy sis! The govermint actuly teeches peple two rite rite. I lernd good. 🙂 Thank you Cathy and Mike! I read those words beaming with pride (or narcissism)
Hunter,
So glad to hear the surgery went well and you’ve gotten a good start on your recovery. I’ll continue to keep you in my prayers. May God grant you continued recovery and peace of mind for you and your family.
Cheers,
Hossam
Hossam! Great hearing from you again! I appreciate the prayers!
Love you guys…if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask. we would be on the next flight. anyway you and Jenn are my heroes. stay Army Strong!
Hey Rich. Thanks for the kind words.
Hunter,
I really have no idea what to say. You are amazing and I’m praying for you and your family. Cappuccino bar?
Let’s go.
Hunter,
You and your family are in our prayers. The perspectives/reflections that you shared have been (even from our discussions in GCOPS!) and will continue to be awe-inspiring for me. Fight the fight and keep on keepin’ on. If you guys need anything, I’ll be there!
Hey Tom! Thanks for the nice comments. Your physical accomplishments have been incredible lately! I’m glad to see you are enjoying it!
Hunter,
It’s Doug Lewis, we went through the 52 course togehter, then spent time at DTRA. Found out your situation from Dan V. a couple of days ago. I was heartbroken to learn of the news, but have been in awe your attitude and strength. I take comfort in seeing how God has provided such a wonderful family and support sytem. You are in our thoughts and prayers, keep fighting and stay strong.
Thanks Doug. Of course I remember you. Thanks for the nice words. I’m glad you came over from the dark (blue) side!
Hunter, Jen,and family,
Keep up the positive thoughts and good attitude. Know that Jenn and I are thinking of you, and if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask!
God Bless,
Chris
Thanks Chris! Great to hear from you.
Hunter, Jen & Family,
You don’t know me, I’m Cathy Grigg’s sister and live in San Diego. Kudos for your strength, humor and positive attitude. May God watch over and keep you and your family in his arms during your battle with this. Praying for miracles that you have many more fun years to enjoy with your family, friends, etc.
God Bless and Keep you always in his arms,
Peggy Rose
Thanks Peggy! I know you now! That’s really nice of you. Thank you for the prayers!
Hunter,you are an amazing LIGHT! Deep gratitude to you for sharing this journey… so tenderly and eloquently you write of your love for Jenn and your boys. I feel every time I read one of your entries that my life is forever changed, recalibrated in big and small ways that I might never have imagined before “meeting” you in this blog.
On a lighter note, I have had patients over the years who “name” their colostomies, but never, not once, do I remember anyone renaming their limbs! You made your first dance with “Short Round” look amazingly easy! Thank you for your LIGHT! And…don’t let Robin off so easy:-) Prayers and positive energy streaming from Toccoa to Nashville.
Thanks Dee! Right after that picture was taken, I smacked Short Round into the walker. Should have seen the dancing then!!
Hunter, I came to your blog trying to think of words to encourage you. Instead, it was your words that encouraged me. Your courage and grace in the face of this personal tragedy are so touching! Your mother has been my dear friend for over 25 years and I have followed your career and your sweet family through her. I am praying for peace and strength for you and great wisdom for your doctors as they plan your treatment.
God bless!
Carolyn
Thanks Carolyn. Your first two sentences are very touching. Thank you for the prayers. My mother always speaks of you. In a good way!
Hunter, This is Amy’s Mom. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. You are an amazing young man and your positive attitude has to be a huge plus in your treatment program. We love you and your response to this situation has been an inspiration to all who read your words. Suzan Carter
Hey! Great to hear from you again! Thanks for the nice words!
Rock 6: You never cease to amaze me with your optimism. Cancer picked the wrong victim this time. I’m surprised you didn’t ask that physical theropist if you could do some “iron mikes” down the hall in lieu of a couple hops.
Jenn: it is comforting to know that he has you to help him through this. Thanks for taking such good care of him.
Our thoughts and prayers remain with your family in the journey of recovery.
Rock V
I love that post. I’m doing modified lunges while typing this. And guess what? Flutterkick(s) are much easier now….
Hunter, We folks in the north are sending prayers, hope, strength, and encouagement. Even though, from the sounds of it, you already have it all. We kinda feel helpless, so I’m happy to hear of all your neighbors and friends. You are so right to be surrounded by as much love and support. If there is ANYTHING you need from this extention of your family, please don’t hesitate to ask. You have been on our minds every minute of every day. It takes an awesome strength to be able to have the attitude that you have chosen for this situation. We are all so proud of you. I hope it’s ok, I have forwarded your blog to some friends and neighbors who have you on their prayer lists. Jenny knows our nieghbor, Larry. He was one of them who offered. So, you’re energy has spread through our town, too. Your boys are lucky to have you. And Jenny could not have chosen a better man to have them with. They are as blessed as you. Thank you for the blog and your kind words and wisdom. God blessed us all when he brought you to our lives. Keep up the great work. We are on this journey with you, every hop of the way. ;->
Love, hugs, kisses,
Steele & Co.
So great to hear that everything has gone so well. I see ( though it’s no surprise) that you’re adjusting quite nicely to your life with Short Round. Must see that Indiana Jones movie again… You need a drink holder on your hopper, and I’m thinking a bell and basket…or maybe you’d rather go with the flames and leather handlebar wrap? Either way, I think a little chrome polish is in order. Can’t have to hopper in anything but tip-top condition.
So I have one burning question…how did the ramp work?!?
Love, ya, mean it!
Hi Hunter,
I couldn’t agree more with what Carolyn said above. Your words are so encouraging and uplifting. I am amazed by your strength in attitude and am praying for you, Jenn and the kids. My littlest one, Ava was in Ben’s kindergarten class last year and I had the pleasure of sitting and chatting w/ Jenn at the pool a few times this past summer. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that I will be lifting you and your beautiful family up in prayer each day.
Thank you Jessica. Can’t wait to chat at the pool again next summer!
Hunter – not sure you remember me. I am another DTRA (LA and then DAG) person who is deeply touched by your story. You have such courage and determination that I know you will do well against this “bully”. Your updates are a source of encouragement and they get me back to what is truly important in life and it ain’t the colors on a power point slide or the format of a memo (the stupid things we often “stress” about in the office). It is obvious you have a large support network – count me in to that number. I hope this is an ever increasing source of comfort to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your personnel story. Now, go kick some cancer butt! And, btw, thanks for your service to this great nation! Happy Veteran’s Day!
I remember you Kim! Thanks for the response. I don’t know….memo format was pretty important and might just trump cancer :). I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog.
Hunter: Robin and I attend church together in Toccoa. You are in my thoughts and prayers. The picture of you after surgery is inspirational. God bless and keep you.
Hunter,
Now you listen here Soldier, just because you lost a leg don’t expect any sympathy from the SEALs. I know a former ST-6 CDR who lost his leg and still came back to command and even deployed. He had a running leg, a diving leg, biking leg ect… He Like yourself are an insperation to us all. But i can still out run you 🙂
Stay strong; Army strong. We are all behind you
Bob
Bob – Give me a few months and we’ll race then! Thanks for the true to form military motivation. Just get it done right? I guess I’d have to lose both legs to get any raised eyebrows from a SEAL!
Hunter,
Awesome attitude as always! I may be passing through Nashville just after Thanksgiving. Up for another visitor?
Army Strong, All my prayers my friend,
Bob
Sir – Always up for it. We’ll deconflict dates / times. Right now I have chemo on the 27th. Probably feel lousy for a week after, but I still have to live life, so lousy or not, you should stop by.
Hunter, Just caught up on the news. You look good in the picture. Good that the surgery went okay, bad about the other stuff. Still hoping, praying, etc for you, Jen and boys…will call soon. Matt
Thanks bro. Nice talking to you last night.
Great pic, good to see you up and about. Lorri and I are thinking about you, look forward to following your recovery.
Thanks Bob.
Hunter – amazing attitude which has been truly inspriational. You look great in the picture and we’ll continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Hey Marc! Great hearing from you. Thanks for the kind words.
Oh Rah sir! You would have made a great Marine! Stay motivative my friend! Focus on the positive
Thanks Dan. That’s a compliment I take very seriously!
Hunter,
Your attitude and spirit is an inspiration, I’m sure with your blade you would be able to smoke most, reminds me of Mark racing the Belgian at Eban Emal. My favorite memory of that trip is the three of us raising the Flag over the U.S. military cemetery Meuse-Argonne. You are in our thoughts and prayers!
Hey Lauren! That is a memory that I keep as well. Something very moving and motivating that not many folks get to say they did.
Hunter,
Although I don’t want to take credit for your successful surgery, I did give you an Irish Blessing last weekend with a few friends with 18 Year Old Jamesons. Your “Character” through out this has helped me relook mine. Believe it or not, you are making a difference with a lot of people who sometimes may lose sight on how good they got it. I go in for a biopsy next week to make sure my Cancer is still gone. You continue to inspire me with your strength and Character. If you need a good laugh watch the Patriots beat up on the Jets on Thanksgiving–sorry Jets fans.